Fail

I happened on this image today and thought it was funny. I'm so glad that they got bikes figured out before I tried to ride them. I would have looked just like this guy.

Yesterday, I saw a lady, who was standing still with her bike, fall over and smack her face into the asphalt. I had just pulled off a dirt trail, and her husband saw me come out of the trail. He thought, "Hey, that looks more interesting than this paved path." While he was checking it out, I stopped to get a drink. His wife waited for him to realize he was not going to get to go on the fun path. When she turned to smirk at him, she tipped on over and hit her face on the pavement (good thing she was wearing a helmet).

I was nice enough to act like I didn't see it, and lifted my water bottle up like I was drinking. She wasn't badly hurt. I figured she'd rather me not ask if she was okay- cause it really looked silly to fall over while standing still.



Speaking of failures, here's a good video to help keep things in perspective.

Rave kid illustrates the Melbourne Shuffle

Jenn is into Rave dancing. She might like this. Wow, I bet this burns some calories.

Song: Dark Oscillators - Superstar dj

Guy makes a huge mess at Target warehouse

Wait for it...watch until like 2:45 where he really fixes things. ahaha

True stories from the medical profession

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one.

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient.

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one?' I asked. 'The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours, and now I'm running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress, and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

5.While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bed ridden?' After a look of complete confusion, she answered...' Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive.'

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, 'So, how's your breakfast this morning?' 'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly I can't seem to get used to the taste,' the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read,'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'



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Whatever you're into...

This is a little adult oriented, but it's not porn nor does it contain anything you couldn't see on network TV. I thought the message was very cleverly delivered. If you're not tuned into pop culture, you'll not get most of the innuendo, which is most of the video. Have your kids explain it to you. It may make for a very healthy conversation.

Ball Girl Makes Incredible Catch!!

The slow-mo is terrific


http://view.break.com/524970 - Watch more free videos

Girl Spins On Dual Escalators

Next time we go to the mall, I'm so going to see if Becky can do this.

Math Trick Phone Number

Amaze and astound your friends. Impress your mother.

1. Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your
head)

2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area
code)

3. Multiply by 80

4. Add 1

5. Multiply by 250

6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number

7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.

8. Subtract 250

9. Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer ??????

I found this here: http://www.getamused.com/jokes/010419.html




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Send text message reminders

Say, for example, you've done your homework, but you get to class and often forget to turn it in. You could send yourself a text message reminding you to turn it in. Pretty cool.

http://www.ohdontforget.com

Jumping cars in a city bus

http://view.break.com/521220 - Watch more free videos

Brothers and Sisters

I could see my sister doing this to me when we were kids.


http://view.break.com/518657 - Watch more free videos

Face transformer

Upload a photo and it will transform the face into various ethnicities.

http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/index.html


.

Wanna get away?

You've seen that commercial - Wanna get away?


Old Men Shouldnt Carry Heavy Church Statues - Watch more free videos


Come on. Who puts an octogenarian on point to carry a 300 lb virgin, anyway?

Eddie Izzard on Darth Vader

Eddie Izzard is my favorite comic. If you haven't seen his act Dressed to Kill, you must go rent it right now.

5-year old girl boxer

This is just impressive.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

My son got his drivers license today...

...hopefully, Seth didn't do this on his drivers test. This kid setup a camera in his car and arranged for 5 tests in a row. I don't know how they kept from smacking him.


http://view.break.com/518103 - Watch more free videos

I'm Irish - Here's an Irish joke

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night”.

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”

The Price is Wrong

I think this guy needs a few days off

http://view.break.com/513310 - Watch more free videos

Couldn't get on plane with this shirt

Apparently, the security guard told this man that because the character on his shirt had a gun, he could not board the plane. It's a cartoon character for Pete's sake! The man changed shirts with something else he had in his bag and boarded without further problem, but give me a break.

Here's the link - CLICK HERE.

Like arguing on the internets...

Pale Blue Dot by Carl Sagan

Carl Sagan is a hero of mine. Perhaps it's his intense curiosity. Perhaps its his insistence on proof; or, maybe it's his grandfatherly voice. It's probably all of these.

I read his book, A Pale Blue Dot. It's a little dated, but it's still very pertinent. His predictions of global climate change and explanations hit the bull's eye.

Listen to him read a quote from this book. It should click in your mind that- He gets it. He was so more advanced in his thinking than most people. If we could all think like Carl Sagan, what a better world this would be.

The video adds some clever footage to Carl's words, but don't get distracted. Listen to the words.

Spelling Bee Blooper

http://view.break.com/512138 - Watch more free videos

Busy guy

Click to enlarge (the photo)

lol